Why I Turned Down a Career Lined Up For Me.

I think it's about time I share my story. In the past 8 months, I went from the college senior who had everything lined to one that threw away all her plans away, moved 500 miles to struggle.

Was it worth it? I have no idea. Am I still struggling? Absolutely. Am I happy? I would like to believe that I am. After a series of panic attacks and mental breakdowns, I realized that money isn't everything. Sometimes you have to step back and evaluate to see if the stress is worth it.

About 6 months ago, I was consistently interviewing in the financial district for Sales jobs after I realized that I couldn't support myself solely on the salary of working for a Sports team. It was hard but I said goodbye to my dreams and aspirations and started looking for something stable and realistic.

Did I want to sell out? Did I really want to give up my passion of providing people with a irreplacable experience for more money? Sure I could get a nice car and nice place and spoil myself working for these companies in San Francisco, but was it worth it? I told myself that it was temporary. Perhaps in a year or two, after I have saved up, I could venture back into the world of sports. So on with the interviews I went.

At this point in my life, I have had many part time jobs and loved to entertain interviewers. I walked away with a few job offers and was on top of the world. Isn't it every college senior's dream to be lined up with a job before spring break? I spent my spring break visiting offices and finally making a decision. With everything all lined up, I was set to enjoy my last quarter at Davis and then start working once graduation came. My parents were beyond proud of me and peers looked to me for guidance.

It wasn't until one day I realized that I could not see myself working and living in the Bay Area. I have fell in love with nature and could not wrap my head around working for companies that encouraged no work-life balance. If I wanted to be able to live in the Bay Area, I'd have to work at least 60 hours a week to burst the quotas and bring home the commission checks. There was just no way I would subject myself to that. I'd lose my sanity.

With 2 months until graduation, I decided to decline all the job offers and start completely fresh. I decided that perhaps I could find an entry level job in Sacramento and move to Auburn so I could still work in a city but enjoy the great outdoors on the weekends.

When I told people I declined my San Francisco Tech offers, people have thought I went mad. My parents accused me of throwing away my future for a boy. They believed I wanted to move to Sacramento because of proximity to Davis. In a way, they were right. I wanted to stay in the area because of all the friends and hobbies I have developed. I wanted to be close to my college friends but also loved going to Lake Tahoe. San Francisco was simply too far. At this point, I was lucky enough to have obtained a job in a tech firm that was headquartered in Sacramento. They even let me start working part time while in school and transition to full time once graduation came along. I have hit the jackpot. I was making good money (especially since the rent in Auburn is a third of the rent in San Francisco), I was close to friends, and I enjoyed my weekends. Everything was falling into place and I set my heart to find the perfect place for my dream dog and me to live.

As time grew closer and closer to graduation, I realized that this part time job would soon turn into a full time gig and be the next 3-5 years of my life, if not more.

Queue the panic.

Did I want to spend my life on the dialer? Did I want to make a living off of tirelessly calling people? Did I even enjoy sales? How did I get here? What's next after this? Become an account executive? Where am I going with my life?

At this point, I was beyond stressed. I couldn't do it. I did not enjoy what I was doing at that job and I hated myself for walking into it. I missed giving tours and interacting with new people while giving apartment tours. I missed working at sporting events. I would end up going home completely stressed out and freaked out. I had no idea what I wanted to do for the rest of my life!

This is when I lost my sanity and knew that I had to get out. I didn't know where to go or what to do but I had to get out now or I'd be stuck forever. So I decided to grab some friends and move home to LA. I quit my job and packed my bags and moved home to be closer to my friends and family.

Lucky enough for me, I landed a remote job and was able to have a consistent income. But, is this where I want to be? I have no idea. But what better time to trial and error than fresh out of college with only 1 mouth to feed. I always told people, maybe it's okay to just work at a restaurant. Explore the world and learn more about yourself before you strap yourself down for a career.

Many people look at my resume and they think, you work in sales. You have built the beginning of a great career in sales. But is that what I want? I just happened to be thrown in sales and excelled, but is this what I want? Perhaps I want to work in Marketing, PR, HR, Hospitality, Real Estate, or even Underwater Basket Weaving.

I believe it is very important to figure out what you want. Sometimes it may be scary to take that risky leap but it could save your sanity, your money, and even your back from relocating so much. Looking back, I had a wild eight months. I've done a lot, gave away a lot, and am still searching for the perfect fit.

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. NOT WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO.